Monday, December 31, 2012

New Year New Computer

I a most likely unnecessary purchase, I bought a new computer. Well... technically I bought it a few days ago but it just arrived today.

I have no idea how to use windows 8... there are too many things that make no sense. Why my computer needs apps is beyond me. But I will try to figure it out.

My theory of buying it involved it being extremely on sale, and I like new toys. Also, I wanted a better computer for the next year because I plan to start writing my books. I can't focus when I am writing on my crappy old laptop that I have had forever. (By forever I mean second year university, so really not all that long...)

I wanted something a little bit more trusty though. That one doesn't hold a charge so if you unplug it you have about 10 minutes to save everything before you're doomed. So it was basically a desktop computer, but because I hated the keyboard I had to get a second one which then took up my entire desk. Highly unpractical.

If I am going to pretend to be a writer, I should at least have the tools to pretend right? Anyways... I thought you should know that I have a new computer. I need to install all my software and what not so I can use my fancy tablet thinger for drawing. I also need to teach this computer that "thinger" is a perfectly acceptable word.


Friday, December 28, 2012

Merry Bloatmas

Here is a haiku for you:

Pants too tight for me
Belly hanging over edge
Need to join a gym.

I wish it weren't so freaking expensive to join the gym. I want to use their machines, but it costs so much money. I should probably look into it though because I can't wear sweatpants to work and my jeans are slightly too tight right now.

Dave and I had technically 7 Christmases in 3 days. We still have one left.

Here's how it went down:

1. Dec 23 - Dad's family Christmas

2. Dec 24- Dad came over for me him and Sandy's thing

3. Dec 24 - Dave's Parents appeared at the same time

4. Dec 24 - Cousin Christmas - arguable my favorite Christmas. No offense everyone else, but there is something special about our own tradition we have maintained for I believe we worked it out to be 8 years on our own with just the four of us.

5. Dec 25 - Mom's for breakfast - I woke up early and made crepe batter and brought it over and made many many crepes! Grammie and Grampie came over, hopefully they enjoyed their gifts and their breakfast!

6. Dec 25 - Aunty's for Dinner - tasty turkey and yummy taters and good times giving nerdy gifts to the girls.

7. Dec 25 - Dave's grandparent's house which was a lot of singing Christmas songs over Skype... the same three songs over and over. I don't mind Christmas carols, but I don't fully get why we had to ding the same ones each time? But at least we made it there.

Now, tomorrow night we are going to Dave's mom's house for ANOTHER dinner.

So needless to say... I have been eating a lot. However I still just want to keep eating. I need to get a tape worm or something. Then I can continuously eat but then it will stop me from getting fat. It will probably kill me... but at least I could eat ice cream more often.... That's a horrible thing to say. I do not condone weird bugs inside of you to make you thin. That is just gross.

I am currently watching the episode of Full House where "Mister Stephanie" accidentally cuts Uncle Jesse's mullet off and then he gets in a motorcycle accident so he has two broken arms and is currently trying to make cereal. Good times. Its Danny Tanner pep talk time everyone!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Happy Apocalypse!

Dec 21st is here! As mentioned before I don't know much about this planned end of the world, so I don't know if it was supposed to be midnight or some other random time, but so far so good. It's a crazy blizzard up here in Canada though. It's really beautiful when you don't have to drive anywhere.

I have nowhere to be today. I should start cleaning but I am very tired and lazy so that might be a while still. Currently I am watching the second half of Home Alone 2. I keep missing the first half so I can't tape it for Dave. He loves these movies. I figured out the other day that one of the bad guys in this is Phil from City Slickers.

This morning when we saw the snow, Dave started plowing the lane way with his fancy four-wheeler and once I shoveled the walkway I decided we needed a snowman.

He's Four snowballs high because Dave thought that would be more awesome. He looks a little goofy. He needs more arms maybe? He can be like that monster from Monsters Inc. I will try to find a picture so you can understand... I can't find him right now. But just... figure it out yourself maybe.

The Grinch is on! I love this movie.

I am not really having anything important or relevant to say, I just wanted you to know I am still alive for now. and its super pretty out.


Merry Christmas!


Thursday, December 20, 2012

Monkey See Monkey Awesome

SO, a few weeks ago now the best thing happened.

A Monkey got loose at IKEA.

Not just any monkey, but a monkey wearing a coat.

Not just any coat, a fancy sheepskin looking coat.

Don't believe me?


That's right my friends.

So many of my favorite things. Monkeys, IKEA and goofy costumes.

Its just, too awesome? I mean, people, look at him. Is there anything better?


Except maybe a pug. I really want one. I am going to get one soon and then this entire blog will just be my pug in goofy outfits. And then you will all hate me. And I will lose all my friends and slowly go crazy because without my friends to talk to while I go to the job stealing all my life source and keep me sane all the crazy will get out everywhere and I will melt into a puddle of scary metaphors and ridiculously detailed run on sentences that will never happen hopefully...

This is not a very good post. I should go talk to humans now.


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

End of the World

So, according to some folks that Friday Dec 21 2012 is the end of the world. I am a little fuzzy on whether it's in the morning or at night or sometime during the day, but according to some calendar the worlds over.

What I don't understand is ... my calendar ends every year and I don't think the worlds ending. Is it more true because its old? I have some really old calendars in some random drawers, they are not more accurate than the new ones.

Perhaps there is just another Mayan calendar? maybe there is a "page 2" somewhere that was never found. I really know nothing of this because I am extremely uneducated on things I don't care about because I am lazy like that, so instead, here are a few things that I would be okay with ending instead of the whole world.

1: Advertisements on YouTube videos that pop up on the bottom of the window and bug me...and then when you go to close them they suddenly grow taller and then you click the ad and end up on some horrible website.

2: Working at a job I hate but I would like to keep the paycheck...or win the lottery.

3: World Hunger... I should be less selfish.

Things I would like to happen after Dec 21st:

1: Foods with a lot of calories should make you lose weight instead of gain weight.

2: sitting in a chair should make you muscles grow.

3:How I Met Your Mother should get another season... I am not done with it yet.

4: The lottery needs to be more winnable. only by me though.

So it's almost Christmas. I have been overly distracted from you my lovely blog friends. But, I will do what I can to be better and more focused.

Does anyone understand why the end of the Mayan calendar means the end of the world? I just don't get it. And having an anxiety disorder does not really do well with all this doomsday stuff so I don't really watch those "documentaries" so maybe I don't want to go.

If I don't ever talk to you again, the internet, it was nice knowing you. I hope it isn't you lost in the end of the world. That would be unfortunate.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

ITS CHRISTMAS... well almost

Ladies, Gentlemen, and the voices in my head without defined genders (don't worry mom I'm kidding... they totally have genders.) It is DECEMBER.

I know, you're thinking its been December for twelve days, wake the eff up. Well here is the thing. I have been busy okay. I know I used that excuse all of November but I promise it was mostly true. I had crafts to make, obscene quantities of cookies to eat and tree to set up.

You know, if you are not directly related to me you may not understand that I super love Christmas. I don't know why I do, but I really do. Most of the time. At least in theory. It always becomes a big hassle in the end but in theory its magical.

People tend to give it a bad rap because they are all "blah blah commercialization of Jesus" well, to those people, I am not religious. I like the commercialization. I like trying to figure out gifts I can give to the people I love just to make them smile. I like having twinkly lights on my house so that it makes people happy when they drive by. I like eating disgusting quantities of Christmas cookies.

So if you don't like eating cookies, being creative or lights... then I am afraid that a small part of you might be dead. Don't feel bad though. Most of me is dead, pretty much all that's left is the part that loves Christmas and the part the loves ice cream.

So, I don't have anything really interesting to say. I just felt really bad not updating this. I miss you all... even though I talk to you all in real life all the time. If anyone is not someone I talk to ... then you are bonus points awesome. People I talk to probably feel obligated to read this, if you're doing it voluntarily you are super cool. Those who feel obligated are also pretty awesome though, so don't feel bad.

I am going to go wrap some more presents. I will put some pictures up soon!!

Oh also, go check out Am I Cool Enough for a Moustache. It's an instant classic. I swear. I am not biased I promise.


OH! PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNTY! I know you don't read this but I am saying it anyways. I hope you like your comic book and shelf!!!

Shopping is Best When Done in the Comfort of Your Sweatpants!