Why I need Crayons at Work

I firmly believe my productivity at work would skyrocket should I be provided with the appropriate tools to express my creativity should the mood strike. The problem with my job is everything follows a template, is formatted and quality controlled to the point of the size of the space between paragraphs is adjusted if it is off my 0.05 millimetres.

If this workplace allowed me to establish “creativity time” I truly believe it would not only increase productivity, but the morale as well.

This is the most grey and boring office building imaginable. People here are afraid to display any sort of personality whether it be in their ill-fitting suits or their lack of personal pictures. The most a person has in their office is one small picture of their children (on average there are likely four or five who have more).

In my office I have the most excellent ever-growing collage possible in a boring grey cubicle. I may not have any personal pictures up but I do have a picture of a baby elephant playing soccer, a bulldog in a tutu and a small article about dinosaur farts. Beat that class pictures of your children. Every time someone notices my bizarre display they always smile and say “Oh that’s nice...” in that creepy, slow, plotting way. I am waiting for the day that I am fired for being too colourful.

So, if this workplace could just see the bigger picture for a minute they would realize that personality equals productivity. If you let me wear the clothes I am comfortable in, and decorate my office in ways I want (without the constant fear of judgement) I will be happier, and when I am happier, I work better.

So back to the idea of creativity time. Should my work give me like... say 20 minutes a day to doodle, colour, sketch whatever, even though I am not very talented at any of those things it might help me not want to explode the rest of the day. And the less I want to explode, the happier I am, the happier I am, the more work will get done. This is just logic people, clear and simple. If you give me crayons, that clearly leads to me being a better human-stapler. I can almost promise.

The problem with this is that with my type of attention span, the honest to goodness real truth is that I would likely get caught colouring at all hours of the day which is why I cannot have crayons at work right now. I should probably just go get a job at the Crayola factory, I am sure they wouldn’t be as unfair about the no-colouring-during-work-hours rule. It would just be hypocritical on their part. Or, my work should just understand that my mind cannot be harness for their menial tasks and that I am just meant to draw pictures of a T-Rex driving a spaceship.

I spelled Extinct wrong? Damn the lack of spell check on Post-it Art! I would fix it but instead I will allow the Internet to laugh of my inadequacies. There are many so brace yourself.